Nostalgia

nos-tal-gia [noun]
* a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time.

I've been thinking about time a lot lately. I'm seventeen years old and a junior in high school. Many of  my friends will be graduating in June and leaving for college by the end of the summer. It's actually something I think about a lot. A year may seem like a lot of time - it's not. The people that I've grown up with, the ones who have influenced my life in such ways that it was forever alter the way that I am today, the ones who stood by me through these many many years, they are continuing into another chapter of their lives and leaving me here. I love happiness. However long it may last, it is forever inprinted in my brain. I'm a seventeen year old girl. It's crazy to think about how much my life has changed in the past five years. I'm in the postition where I'm influencing little kids at my old dance school just like juniors influenced me. Thinking of me and solely me, I don't feel that old. However when I put that in relation to the people that were juniors when I was in seventh grade, it's like... damn. People see me how I saw, for example, BJ. I see them as BJ saw me. It's crazy.

I've grown so much since I've been high school and I'm just experiencing life. Life throws so many fast balls and curve balls that I don't know how to handle. I know this. I'm not saying that I make all the right decisions because I surely do not. I do however know that it is helping shape me into a well-rounded person.

It's actually almost difficult to try and formulate the thoughts that I have when it comes to my evolution as a person. You could try to ask other people how I may have changed, but no one knows better than me. They may say that I've made some wrong decisions or that I'm perfect ;) haha but I think the only thing that matters is that on this journey I can recognize the change in me and remember the good times that I've had. They aren't coming back. I can only create new memories, and that's what I'm doing.

This is for me. Living for me. Thinking about me. Striving to please me, so I can be happy. Me.