Like I Never Had It At All

Today is just one of those days. All of my thoughts are just blending together in my head, and I can't really verbalize anything I want to say. I'm so focused on saying the right thing and getting everything across clearly, but it won't even leave my brain properly. I'm listening to music and My Last by Big Sean feat. Chris Brown started playing and some parts of my brain started to calm down.

It's the summertime. What am I thinking for?

I'm sitting around focusing on things that I really don't need to bothered with. I'm starting to stress about my junior year even though it's only July. I'm worrying about boys like my love life is headed somewhere fast. I need to just live, because lord knows when things actually get going, I won't have time to just chill and enjoy life. I'm sixteen years old. I'm not perfect, and to be quite honest, I'm not really trying to be. I need to take advantage of the time that I have, because I may not have another day. Nothing is promised. I want to make some mistakes. I want to do something that I never thought I would even do. It's difficult to try and define myself when I don't really have the chance to know what I like or don't like; what I can do, and what I can't.

I know that I need to just go with the flow but for me in particular, it's not that simple. However, when I do get the chance to just roll with the punches, it's great. I just need to get to that comfortable place and stay there. My summer days are getting limited, I need to just LIVE.

Live like I never had it at all.