Speak your mind

For me personally, speaking my mind is very difficult for me when I'm vulnerable. In other cases I always feel as if I have a valid opinion and can argue my case as much as I want.

Sometimes I'm really good with words. When someone asks me for advice, I'm really good with offering good insight and telling someone what they need to hear. When it's my thoughts and my feelings I need to get across to someone on my own, however, I need to go over it in my head billions of times to make sure they get my point. I don't want to say that wrong thing and have a person get the wrong idea.

One thing I absolutely hate is getting treated. Like seriously treated. Sometimes I'm so afraid of someone's reaction that I just keep everything I really want to say inside because I don't want to know their answer.

That's where I go wrong.

I need to practice just saying what I have to say. My opinion is valid, and beating around the bush is too annoying and confusing to want to continue a conversation. I can't be afraid of the truth. Not anymore.

Starting tonight.

Once I Had A Woman

For any of those who are interested, this is my dance team Guys N Dolls (GnD) at Dance Chicago 2011. I'm in the last trio to go on the right side of the screen. We snapped. I looked weak at the end :/ but overall we did really well. We also pulled off getting to homecoming 30 minutes later. Determination.

Shout outs to Joe from Elements contemporary ballet company. Thank you so much for choosing us for this amazing piece.

Faves | TLC - Baby Baby Baby

Ahh, I love this video! :)

On Repeat: Thinking About You | Emmalyn Estrada

I reblogged this on my Tumblr a few months ago and just ran across it again. I not only love this song, but I love the way she sings it. It's something I can listen to all day. Talent.

Video: We Found Love | Rihanna

First, let me start off by saying this my 100th post on Blogger! :) Anywho. Everyone has been talking about Rihanna's new visual for her song We Found Love which is featured on her upcoming album Talk That Talk coming out in November. I had never heard the song before I watched the video, and now I absolutely love both. I'm such a romantic. The way Rihanna and her "boyfriend" act in the video is exactly how I want my next relationship. They seemed so in love that the rest of the world didn't even matter. I wonder why she decided to pick a light skinned boy with blonde hair though? Hm. Still not over Chris, Ri? Whatever the case may be, this video is beautiful. :)

Nostalgia

nos-tal-gia [noun]
* a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time.

I've been thinking about time a lot lately. I'm seventeen years old and a junior in high school. Many of  my friends will be graduating in June and leaving for college by the end of the summer. It's actually something I think about a lot. A year may seem like a lot of time - it's not. The people that I've grown up with, the ones who have influenced my life in such ways that it was forever alter the way that I am today, the ones who stood by me through these many many years, they are continuing into another chapter of their lives and leaving me here. I love happiness. However long it may last, it is forever inprinted in my brain. I'm a seventeen year old girl. It's crazy to think about how much my life has changed in the past five years. I'm in the postition where I'm influencing little kids at my old dance school just like juniors influenced me. Thinking of me and solely me, I don't feel that old. However when I put that in relation to the people that were juniors when I was in seventh grade, it's like... damn. People see me how I saw, for example, BJ. I see them as BJ saw me. It's crazy.

I've grown so much since I've been high school and I'm just experiencing life. Life throws so many fast balls and curve balls that I don't know how to handle. I know this. I'm not saying that I make all the right decisions because I surely do not. I do however know that it is helping shape me into a well-rounded person.

It's actually almost difficult to try and formulate the thoughts that I have when it comes to my evolution as a person. You could try to ask other people how I may have changed, but no one knows better than me. They may say that I've made some wrong decisions or that I'm perfect ;) haha but I think the only thing that matters is that on this journey I can recognize the change in me and remember the good times that I've had. They aren't coming back. I can only create new memories, and that's what I'm doing.

This is for me. Living for me. Thinking about me. Striving to please me, so I can be happy. Me.

Seventeen, simple dream

Whew. I've had the most hectic weekend. So, last friday was my seventeenth birthday! It also was my high school homecoming game. Saturday was a competition called Dance Chicago and my homecoming dance. Sunday was my high school's open house in which I had to perform. Long crazy satisfying weekend. Life is such a funny thing to be quite honest. It wasn't the perfect weekend I imagined for myself, but it was all-in-all a really good one. This weekend really got me thinking about how things and circumstances can change over time. God sure does have a funny way of giving us what we want when we least expect it. Right now, I'm just rolling with the punches. Overall, I'm still striving to be content with my life. I can get there. I will get there. ^_^

Erica, Gabby, & Rielle. Shuttin' homecoming down - 2011.